Sunday, 8 June 2014

may faves // chapter five

May was a pretty good month. I'm gonna demonstrate how and why through a chronicle of the things I enjoyed in said month. 

Thing #1: The first and most significant thing this month was the famous TV show: Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I was never really that interested in BTVS (this is how I will refer to it for the rest of this post) because of it's age and terrible special effects. But un/fortunately after many many many months of trying to get me to watch it, my loving other half Keisha painstakingly persuaded me to watch it. I fucking love it. I finished the whole seven seasons in the whole last month. Which was easy considering I'm currently out of education and unemployed, but moving on...The whole thing with the special effects didn't bother me, it made me laugh and was endearing. I loved the whole group dynamic with the scooby gang. Joss Whedon develops his characters as people SO well. When the character Spike first arrived (Season 2, I believe) I hated him. He seemed like a bit of a smarmy git and James Marsters' terrible English accent rivaled the quality of Dick Van Dyke's in Mary Poppins, but after some development and SPOILER ALERT...the dismissal of Drusilla (crazy vampire lady) I warmed to him, and he quickly became my favourite character, along with my all-time faves, Xander and Giles. It's the perfect mix of fantasy, sit-com and drama. I love it and highly recommend watching it if you haven't. Go for it.

The original (and my fave) scooby gang.
Thing #2: Another TV show: Bones. I started watching Bones because I wanted to keep on the BTVS hype and watch Angel but Netflix didn't have it. Obviously Bones felt like the next best thing because of David Boreanaz. The format of this show has been done loads before. Police/Doctors/FBI agents/Mystery solvers get a case. Find evidence. Interview person. Wrong person. Rinse and repeat until the bad guy is eventually found. Bad guy curses said meddling kids and gets locked away. There's the occasional ongoing plot point, but they only last for about a season and a half. The reason I enjoy Bones is because the characters are relatable, they have great chemistry and they're, like, comforting? I can't find the word, but I just mean I feel good when I have this show just on in the background. If you're a fan of House/Criminal Minds/CSI/Supernatural, you'll probably enjoy Bones.

The gang in Season 1.
Thing #3: X-Men: Days of Future Past. I went to see it with my Kaysh. I've only ever seen the first X-Men film, but apparently there are a lot of plot holes in the series, that this film apparently solves. I'm all for that. It also features a lot of triple-A actors. The list includes Patrick Stewart, Sir. Ian McKellen, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman and my fave: Peter Dinklage. Peter Dinklage plays the main threat to the mutants in this film, as he plans to build a weapons system to hunt them down. Something significant has happened in this film. Dinklage's dwarfism is never mentioned. This allows Dinklage's acting talent to truly shine through. The part wasn't intended to be played by someone with dwarfism, Dinklage got in on pure talent. The part wasn't rewritten or anything. This could be the start of a new healthy trend in Hollywood: actors getting parts based on acting talent, rather than looks.

imo, dinklage's character wasn't evil, he was doing what he thought was right.
Thing #4: A little thing. Haribo Mini Chamallows! They are really just tiny, sugar-coated marshmallows. I can't get enough. These are the only marshmallows i can stand. I think it's the sugary layer that does it for me, makes 'em tasty. They taste even better melted ;) Shout out to ma buddy Taylor Hodgkinson for introducing me!

Kids and grown-ups love it so!

Thing #5: Lastly is Donker Mag, the new album released by South African rap group Die Antwoord. Now, I've only just listened to it, so I don't know the album off the back of my hand quite yet, but I can honestly say I love this album. It seems in Die Antwoord's previous albums, there were a few bangers, but they mostly relied on shock factor to sell records. Not this time. This a well-produced, well-written and well good album. Can you tell I'm not a music journalist? I was particularly struck by the song Moon Love, which is Track 15 on the album. The song was written by Ninja, main rapper and husband of female member, Yo-Landi Vi$$er. It's about when his daughter, named Sixteen, came to him whilst and her mother was sleeping and told him her heart had been broken. She was two-years-old at this point. The song, to my knowledge, has vocals from said daughter, along with vocals from Ninja, telling his daughter that he's going to fix her heart, and I just found it so endearing and emotional, it were bare cute. The track ends with Sixteen saying "Mummy, my heart is back" awwwwwwwwwwwww.
Another thing to mention is Ninja's rapping has gotten a LOT better. This can be heard in the song Raging Zef Boner. It's very Eminem-esque, especially the chorus. I think it's my fave!
Yo-Landi and Ninja
By the way, if you post some condescending comment about how Donker Mag and X-Men weren't released in May, I will frown at said comment. They were released close enough to May to be included in my May faves, imo, so no hate! Love ya peeps xoxoxoxoxox

~Jack




Tuesday, 20 May 2014

feeling lost // chapter four

These past couple of months, I've kinda been at a standstill. I've decided to leave college as I'm tired of the whole educational system, and honestly, it's not been good for my mental health. I was getting way too worked up about not having the grades I was expecting. 
It was mainly psychology, but luckily my psych teacher was incredibly helpful and let me withdraw from the exams. That was quite a weight off my shoulders. After that I only had two exams, I didn't do too well on either. I'm not that bothered, cus two English AS levels aren't gonna get me very far in life. I'm currently pursuing an apprenticeship or full time job, so I can save up to go to Peru with my darling, Keisha. We're gonna take part in a rainforest conservation program, and it's gonna be ace. 

I'm also having trouble with motivation just lately. I normally write and read all the time, but I just can't seem to bring myself to, erm, perform. When I do try, I only seem to manage a few sentences, it's really starting to irk me. Even right now, this is a struggle. I just thought I'd give a simple update for readers of my blog who give a shit. I'm sorry for the low word count. 

Thursday, 13 March 2014

the hype behind weed // chapter three

"Did you know that the most common side effect of smoking weed is never shutting the fuck up about the fact that you smoke weed?"

I'm gonna do a rant today. Weed. Since starting college, I've realized a LOT of people smoke weed. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not an exception to this rule. I don't care what people do to their bodies. Their body, their choice, who am I to judge? I am just sick to death of people who think that 'cus they smoke weed they are great people. Wrong. People who define themselves by a drug they use just prove how stupid and uninteresting they are. They constantly talk about it, they wear clothes with a cannabis leaf printed on them and celebrate 4:20, more commonly known as 16:20. I was once standing outside college with friends when this one dude said "Everyone who smokes weed put their hand up so we know who's cool!". Before this moment I never realized there were people this fucking idiotic in the world. I genuinely think my jaw dropped.
I say legalize it. Maybe these idiots will shut the fuck up about how they're cool because they use an illegal substance. The only reason people think it's so cool is because it's illegal. You don't get people bragging about how much paracetamol they took over the weekend. That happens and then I will finally have to stop hearing about how 'waved' these fucktards got the night before. 

Sunday, 2 February 2014

hits 'n' shits // chapter two

January was a good month for stuff. I have discovered new music and films and food and it's been very great (I have also discovered syndetic listing).

The first hit is The Wolf of Wall Street. It is the best film I have seen in the last couple of months, if not years. It's basically about this one bloke, Jordan Belfort (who's a real person, by the way), who basically swindled his way through Wall Street and went on to become like super fucking rich and blows his money on massive boats and drugs (mainly quaaludes & cocaine) and hookers and other rich people stuff. It's the story of how he got there and the people who helped him get there. He is portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio and does an amazing job of it. His role oozes enthusiasm and charm and exudes hilarity. Another top player in the film is Jonah Hill, who shows he can accurately combine comedy and drama, which is a bit of a shock considering he was only payed $60,000 to play his part. This is very, very shallow considering it's a box office hit. I would love to do a full review of the movie, but I do not have the patience or concentration. If you would like to see a good, eloquent review of it, then check out my girlfriend, Keisha's review: HERE.

A picture which, I feel, accurately portrays the tone of The Wolf of Wall Street.
My second hit of the month is Charles Bukowski. I started reading an anthology of his short stories, called Tales of Ordinary Madness and I've been enjoying it so far. He wrote about working class life in America so well. There's no glamorization at all, it is pure grit. Although whilst this is mostly interesting, there are some downsides. A lot of the stories Bukowski writes are semi-autobiographical and this can become quite tiresome when almost every story is about an alcoholic writer/poet who gets through the day/official events/weddings by drinking a few bottles of scotch, telling a group of ladies that he's gonna "destroy their cunts" and then getting arrested. But there are a few stories that really shine out for me. For example, I think it may be the first or the second story is about a criminal who is on the run for some kind of crime (I'm assuming it was robbery, as that is his main source of income) and has to look out for his daughter and wife. He is indifferent to his wife, but you can tell he really loves his daughter and that story just makes me really happy.

A typical day in the life of Bukowski.


The most significant shit of this month is Flappy Bird, an app that has recently garnered attention because of it's 'addictiveness' and difficulty. However, it is not the game that gets on my tits. It's the hype everyone in the world has created around it. It was pretty funny for like two days, getting people to play it and seeing them rage. It's already old. We get it, it's difficult. Now grow up and put your phone away, don't you have shit to do? It annoys as much as Angry Birds does. Angry Birds does, in no way, deserve the fanbase it possesses. Rovio Entertainment have made millions in terms of advertising and merchandising of this game. For what? A shitty iPhone knockoff of the popular flash game, Crush The Castle. It just annoys me so much.

Flappy little prick.






Saturday, 25 January 2014

tumblr - part one // chapter one


Tumblr is my third most visited site, according to Google Chrome, running behind only to Facebook and YouTube. I started using Tumblr because I enjoyed how creative some of the users of the site were/are. I started by following some blogs that featured writing prompts, poetry, short stories, paintings and all that creative jazz. I then began to just follow the blogs that I found funny and I also followed blogs for music news, because, in my opinion, Tumblr is always the fastest way to find out about leaked albums, secret shows and stuff like that. But on top of all the good stuff Tumblr users offer, there is a huge pile of shit.

'Fandoms' are one of the worst things that happened to Tumblr. One of the many urban dictionary definitions of fandom is-

"a emotional drug. With other such hypnotized fans just as addicted as you or any other fan are, to a specific subject. A large group of unstable and emotional fans that devote half of their time in daily life, loving the thing they are so dedicated to. Whether its the writers, the shippers, or the followers; they all emotionally go haywire over it as one."

This is clearly written by a Tumblr user. There is no true definition of the word 'fandom' because it's not a real word, it's a contraction of 'Fan' and 'Domain'. When the term was first coined, it was used to mean the fanbase of a person, organization, TV show, book series etc. But now it's come to mean a massive clusterfuck of preteens who are obsessed with Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch sucking each other off. I, myself, am a fan of the show Sherlock, but when I go on Tumblr, it annoys me to no end when said preteen girls are taking 0.5 second clips of Sherlock looking at John and then proceeding to explain to me that the glance is used to signify Sherlock's eternal lust for John. I don't mind when people make mild speculations about shows, films and books, but Tumblr users just over-analyze and it gets pretty annoying. Another aspect of this which gets right on my tits is 'Shipping'. 

"A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic ones as well. (Just think of "shipping" as short for "relationSHIP".)"

Again, this is another definition from urban dictionary. Now this describes Fanfiction which I am a fan of. I love reading people's own takes on stories, especially Harry Potter, I can't get enough. But it is NOT good to apply it to people who actually exist. An example of this is the shipping of Arctic Monkeys frontman, Alex Turner and British model, Alexa Chung. They started dating in 2007 and broke up in 2011. Turner fangirls have not let this go. They constantly whine about them being apart. When Turner started dating American model, Arielle Vandenberg, Tumblr flipped their shit. Death threats were sent to Vandenberg through many outlets, Twitter, Instagram, through the mail. This is a horrible form of bullying. And it's for a horrid fucking reason. 

That's all I can think of for now, I will have a second part to this post veeeeery soon.

Saturday, 18 January 2014

the life of jack // prologue

Hello there, earlier this month, my girlfriend, her sister and mother started blogs about their lives, so i thought I'd jump on the bandwagon.
I'm Jack Goring-Bielby and I'm from a little grey city called Derby. It rains a lot and the people aren't the classiest, but it'll do. I go to a rather pleasant little college called The Joseph Wright Centre, where I am studying English Language, Literature and Psychology at AS level. I've been told I'm a typical indie-kid, I'm an agnostic, cus I'm not really that bothered really. I love music, I'm never not listening to music, I play guitar & ukulele and sporadically upload guitar covers to youtube, here. My main, sort-of, passion in life is literature. Before I started college I used to read about 5-10 books a month, but since I've started college I've been bogged down with work. I hope to be a writer of books in the near-future, It's a huge goal of mine.
I live with my Mum, Dad, and dog, Tash, a dobermann.

My Mother, Helen, is a kitchen assistant at my old school, Bemrose. Which meant loads of free biscuits and hot chocolate for me and my mates, it were dead good. My Mum is a badass and doesn't take shit off anyone and, in my opinion, wears the trousers in her and my Dad's relationship. She is obsessed with Bruno Mars, The Real Kardashians and knitting.
My Dad, is Mick, a killer of pests and punk enthusiast. He used to be a right skinhead and played football from ages 11-42. I used to be really close with my Dad, but as I've grown older, we've drifted apart, I think it's due to our differences. He's sort of the classic bloke, into football and beer and that, whereas I'm more of a poetry and capri-sun kinda guy.

Since I've started college I've found loads of new friends and rekindled relationships with old ones. [PICTURES HERE]
The best one is probably Cairo, I met him in Year 7 through a mutual interest in bad anime. We've done pretty much everything notable in our lives together and he helped me survive the shithole that is Bemrose. My favourite memory with that beautiful young boy is when we went to London on a school trip, but that's a story for another day.

But I have another contender for best friend, although it may be slightly biased, cus she's also my girlfriend, Keisha. She's the best. I met her through college and since then life has been less boring. She's a walking stereotype, she has dreadlocks, smokes quite a bit of weed and lights incense in her room. She's a poetry enthusiast and has the best music taste. Sometimes she dresses a bit weird, but it's all part of the charm, and she works it! We're soon going to be getting jobs to save up for a campervan and we're gonna travel the world. I do love her :)